Marvin’s Towel Day Present
He did not need to, for Zaphod then said,
“I got you a present. Put this on your head.”
He handed an object to Marvin and smiled
Like a bugblatter beast at a feast but with style.
“It’s Towel Day, Marvin. Don’t say you forgot,”
Zaphod admonished. But Marvin had not.
He knew about Towel Day. Everyone did,
But parties and hats were both stuff for kids.
He didn’t go in much for wild celebrations.
He favored instead more sedate cogitations.
Planet-size brains are not made for joy.
They’re not made for frivolous games or for toys.
A planet-size brain is for thinking of thoughts,
And bemoaning terrible fates life has brought.
A planet-size brain knows just what to expect,
Including, in this case, no signs of respect.
Zaphod’s next comment thus proved no exception.
Confirming the android’s most dire expectation.
“We’re having a party, and all are invited.
That includes you. I’m sure you’re excited.”
Marvin was not. So what else is new?
But worse still awaited. No doubt this was true.
And soon it arrived as a listing of ‘guests’
None of whom made his list of ‘Worlds’ Best’.
“Ford Prefect will be here and so will his pet,
“Monkey-man what’s his name, I quite forget.
“Arthur,” said Marvin, and then quickly noted,
“He came from that planet the Vogons exploded.”
“Whatever,” said Zaphod, his hand waved the air.
“It hardly matters to our great affair.
“Hotblack will be here along with his band,
“And play us some music. Now won’t that be grand?
The Milliways’ head chef is coming to cook,
And I can tell you he was though to book.
The food will be wonderful, and then there’ll be drinks.
Gargle Blasters for all, or so I should think.
“Trillian said she’d come. Won’t that be nice?
“And Frankie and Benjy, but they eat like mice.
“Deep Thought will log in; it’s given its word.
“And Slartibartfast, for a break from his fiords.
The Three-Breasted Whore of Eroticon Six
May pop in later. Perhaps she’ll turn tricks.
Zarquon is coming, but probably late.
He tends to do that. Perhaps it’s his fate.
“So what is my role in this party to be?”
Marvin the android then asked sullenly.
“Why that’s the best part, and it will be great!
“Your role’s essential! Your job is to wait!”
“To wait?” said the android, now feeling abused.
“To wait for what? I am somewhat confused.”
Zaphod turned ’round and an apron appeared.
Marvin retreated. ‘Twas bad as he feared.
“To wait on our guests, you silly machine.
“It is you who will serve them. You see what I mean?
“You’ll hand out munchies and drinks when they ask.
“I’m sure you can handle this important task.”
A sad dip of Marvin’s head proved he had heard,
But he turned and he left without saying a word.
And he with his planet-size brain should have guessed,
But all he could say now was, “I’m so depressed.”